Saturday, December 07, 2002

What Men Will Do For Pr0n

For the uninitiated, 'pr0n' is "leet" for Porn. Yes, I know its obvious, but someone would ask.

These articles are old, but interesting.

First guy breaks into a convenience store to steal some adult magazines. First off, the whole thing is on tape, as the store has cameras. He grabs 5 magazines and then tries to break the glass in the door to get out. Only he can't break the window. So he has to climb out through the roof. Worst thing about it all is that all he had to do was unlock the door. It wasn't a key-lock on the inside, simply a standard switch lock. He must have been staring at the mags the whole time.

The next case is a burglar who breaks into houses to use the computer for porn.

What? His library card expired? Or maybe sitting in your birthday suit amongst the dewey decimal system cards wouldn't work out too well. I can't imagine committing a felony to just surf pr0n. Especially the stuff on the web, which if its any good, you have to pay for. (If you know of some free sites that are good, send links my way - I'll rate them for you.)

This guy rammed his car into granny's house, and then took his clothes off and tried to break in, naked. Granny must have had some real good porn in there. Of course, it was reported that he said he was going to kill someone. Granny probably threw out his complete Hustler magazine collection.

OK - this has nothing to do with pr0n, but could probably be a good story-line for a new adult film. Only instead of the guy stabbing her in the leg with an object hanging from the rearview mirror, he could stab her in the you know with something that was hanging from his...oh nevermind. You don't need a roadmap. Maybe the guys wife did though, one with a low-hanging bridge. (Pun intended)

OK - I used to be a Police Officer. But I don't think that I'd admit chasing a nude man and then losing him. That one would be conveniently forgotten.

Does this make any sense to you at all? You arrest a sicko-creep for having Child Porn on his computer, and you place him under house arrest when he lives across the street from a school? Utterly astounding.

And couldn't these politicians wait until they got back home? Or at least to their own offices? I know politics is boring...but.

Maybe they were just big Bill Clinton fans, and they figured if he can get a hummer while working, they wouldn't get in trouble for a little pr0n surfing.